he hasn't changed

ok i need the support & love from my friends right now. last night we had Branson's birthday party. it was great, he had a blast but... my dad texted me at 2pm asking what time the party was (i told him again 5pm) and he said he would come earlier & leave earlier bc he didn't want to be here when my mom was. they're separated now and have been since july. i told him (& her) several weeks ago that unless neither of them could be civil to each other i didn't want them here causing drama. of course matt & i knew my mom would be civil but he on the other hand, wouldn't. when i texted him that i didn't want people here before 5 bc nothing would be ready and that, that was a lame excuse and he needed to be mature and suck it up he didn't answer back. the party started at 5, everyone was here on time BUT him! he showed up at 6:30, walked in, didn't speak to anyone, didn't even eat anything. he only stayed for long enough for Branson to open his presents and left out the garage door so he wouldn't have to walk past everyone and speak. no one even knew he left but me. now what really upsets me, our baby shower that chick fil a is soooo generously throwing for us is in 2 weeks. i sent out email invites to those who weren't on fb. he declined saying that he has a church meeting that night and can't or should i say won't miss it. that he doesn't need to miss too many and he doesn't want to be around my mom and he hoped i understood. i asked him when was he going to understand that all of this isn't about him & her and their issues. that they have me, my brother and my kids shared together and it's sad that he can't put his differences aside to enjoy that. i am literally sitting here in tears bc this feels exactly like what he did to me when i was a little kid. always putting his things first and him and not putting what really matters, like me and my kids first. i know i shouldn't even care bc why do i need someone like that around in my life. but it just hurts to no end that after i was there listening to him cry every night after my mom decided to move out he still can't be any kind of supportive of me. he even had the nerve to ask me if i could be around anthony, branson's biological dad or my ex husband david. i can honestly answer that with a yes. because like it or not that is his real dad and there's nothing i can do to change that no matter how much i hate it. but i would put branson's feelings FIRST instead of mine. as for david, we have no kids together, no ties, nothing. but would i still be nice to him seeing him out in public, well of course. why wouldn't i be? yeah the marriage ended crappy but we've both moved on in our lives, we're remarried and have kids with our spouses. i think this is literally the last straw with him. i put up with it when i was little and always just expected him to never be there for anything i did when i was in high school. but this... he's messing with my kids and their emotions, not to mention mine but i'm not allowing it! he pushed me aside and anything that was important to me for 27 years and now he's doing the same to my kids despite the fact he says he's changed. he hasn't changed. he's still the same self centered person he's always been and if it's not important to him, then it's not important at all. sad that someone can't be a mature adult about something and take any and every opportunity to celebrate or be with his kids & grandkids because he just doesn't want to be around my mom. it's childish! and i'm fed up with it. grow up and be a freaking man already!! stop acting like a 2 yr old throwing a tantrum because you didn't get your way. i normally don't talk about any kind of family issues or anything personal anymore i just really feel like i need the support of friends who have been through this themselves with their parents or the parents who have gone through this themselves as well.