i'm JUST a mom

on more than one occasion i've been told that i am nothing because i don't have a college degree or that i'm a nobody because i didn't finish college but they did and because i don't work. i've been told i'm "just a mom and that's all i'll ever be, to think about that." at first it pissed me off and made me mad that someone considered me lesser than them because i was "just a mom" but then i started thinking ya know if i'm only "just a mom" then that's not so bad. i have 2 lives i am responsible for, to teach, to love, to raise because they are the future. these 2 tiny souls rely 100% completely on me for their life to flourish. to be able to take a tiny 4lbs baby, born 6 weeks, early in the middle of winter and he never be sick a day in his life when his pediatrician of over 20 years practice tells me that she would have been scared to take all that on, survives and is considered her "prize preemie" then you are DAMN RIGHT i am "just a mom". to have a extremely complicated pregnancy, spending the last several months in & out of hospitals to end up having your child in the front seat of your car then you're DAMN STRAIGHT i'm "just a mom". i'm way more than you'll EVER be!!! because there's no way under the sun you could have done it. you're not that strong. being a mom is a never ending job unlike babysitting where you can hand that child back and continue on with your life and do the things that you want, when you want. 

being a mom is a 24/7/ 365 J-O-B. yes! it IS a job!!! i may not get paid and i don't count huge and kisses as my payment either. my boys growing up, with a great education, going to college (if they want to), having a job that they love, a wife and family that really loves them and being the future of this country then yes, that's a job. that's a HUGE job!! the reason women have such a hard time sleeping is because they bare the weight of the world on their shoulders. a quote comes to mind while i type this, "By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off.  They are the great vacationless class."  ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh, how true this is. i don't get a break. i am with my kids always! i don't get to dump them off on someone else to deal with while i go shopping, having a date with my boyfriend or husband. i don't get to think about just me anymore. it's not about me anymore. do i complain about always having my kids with me, yes because every mom needs a break once in a while. does it suck that i don't have people willing to watch my kids, yes it does! but i just have to suck it up and deal with it that i have no one that i can rely on but me to take care of my kids the way i want them taken care of. i remember when we stopped by to see the preacher at the chapel where we got married. he said he couldn't stress enough how important it was for especially young couples with young kids to get time to themselves and for each other. we don't get that!! we never have until recently. we are making time to at least get to do things for ourselves because we can't get anyone to watch our kids so we can do things together so we have to settle for separately. 

i'm just tired of being made to feel inferior to someone because i'm "just a mom" or because i don't have a paying job anymore. but what's so sad is these people never have the guts to say these things to my face. they only say them behind a computer screen or to someone else. maybe because they don't have the guts to say them to my face because they know i'll rip them apart, maybe because they know deep down that there's no way they could ever be "just a mom", to be responsible for another human's life for the rest of your life. your JOB as a mother isn't done when they turn 18. it. is. forever. you have to give up so much to be "just a mom". you give up your social time, you lose friends, you lose your independence and ability to make split second decisions on things that may be fun now but in the long run aren't the best thing for them. you lose your identity as a person, you lose your "me" time. you even lose your sleep and sometimes your mind. everything you do can't just revolve around you anymore. your kids come first and some people are just too self centered to be "just a mom". but if never go back to school to complete the degree that i need, that will give me the job that i want and trade it for raising my boys, giving them a good education, love, putting them first in my life and forgetting about me, what i want or who i am then i'm ok with being "just a mom". it's more than you'll ever be because i'm more than "just a mom" i am a teacher, a nurse, a cook, a taxi driver, the keeper of the cheerios, the one person that they always want when they are sick, the one who stays up all night with them when they are sick, the one who cleans up the messes or helps make them, the one who kisses the boo boos.the one they thank when they give that acceptance speech. to a child, my child i am the center of their tiny universe. and if that's the only thing i'm the center of and successful at then i'm ok with being "just a mom"