i am 4 :)

this weekend we celebrated Branson's 4th birthday. wow 4? already? it doesn't seem like it's possible. he was the first 5th generation, four different ways. granny Ledbetter always thought so much of him and always sent him cookies or something every time he went to visit or grandma & grandpa went to see her. she passed away jan 11 this year. i have never had a dream about her until yesterday morning. in my dream matt was in the kitchen talking on the phone. i asked him who he was talking to. he said a name but i asked if he was talking to granny. he looked at me funny and said "why would i be talking to her?" i asked him again if he was sure he wasn't talking to granny and again he said no. he couldn't see granny standing in front of me in the kitchen on the other side of the bar. matt couldn't see her but she looked at me and smiled and said "tell Branson hey, happy birthday and that she loved us and she was ok." then she was gone. she looked soooo pretty standing there. she was wearing her little grey suit with the black striping on it that she always wore around Christmas and the holidays and her little black paten shoes. i woke up and had this oh my gosh feeling. i called matt and couldn't even get the words out without crying. i'm barely able to type this now! i called grandpa and told him. he was crying as well as smiling. i just thought it was something so special that she would appear to me like that on Branson's birthday. what a wonderful story to tell him about later. since Thanksgiving it's really hitting me that for the first time in 26 years i don't have great grandmas here to go visit with on the holidays. 

but Branson had a great birthday. it looked like Christmas had already came!! Uncle Penut got a bounce house and oh my goodness that was hilarious!!! Branson was terrified!! he screamed from the second he got in it. even when mawmaw got in with him he still cried. i just had to video it. it was so funny!! he loved Monkey Joe's when we went there though so this baffled me. we still had fun in it even though it was FREEZING outside!!! we had chicken & dumplins and Branson helped me decorate his cake!! i loved that!! he's always wanting to help me and couldn't. Matt said i shafted him on his cake but i wasn't going to do anything really elaborate just for the few of us and i wanted him to be able to decorate it like he wanted. so i love that more than anything! this is also the first year i haven't wrote Anthony a letter. i write him letters every year on Branson's birthday even though i know he'll never read them i still do. but this year i decided not to. he hasn't remembered him yet on his birthday so why start now?? and i just want him out of my mind completely. without him life is grand!